Reclaiming pleasure after trauma
Pleasure is an essential part of being human, a source of vitality, creativity, and
connection. For many people who have experienced trauma, pleasure can feel
distant, confusing, or even unsafe.This worksheet offers a slow, compassionate
pathway to begin reconnecting with your body and rediscovering what feels good,
safe, and alive, at your own pace.
There is no right or wrong way to do this and every step is optional.
Step 1: Ground
Before exploring, help your nervous system settle into safety.
Try one or more grounding practices:
Take three deep, slow breaths, feeling your feet on the ground.
Use a weighted blanket or gentle pressure on your shoulders.
Place a hand over your heart or abdomen and feel its rise and fall.
Notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear.
Reflection:
What helps your body recognise that it’s safe enough to stay present right now?
(You might notice warmth, calmness, or simply less tension.)
Step 2: Explore non-sexual
touch
The goal is to rediscover sensation — not arousal.
Choose textures or experiences that are soothing, curious, or comforting.
Ideas to experiment with:
Warm water on your hands
Stroking your arm or hair
Holding something cool, smooth, or textured
Soft fabric against your skin
Applying lotion or oil slowly
As you explore:
Notice what feels pleasant, neutral, or uncomfortable.
You can stop at any time or shift to something else.
Focus on curiosity, not performance.
Reflection:
What sensations did you notice?
Were there any textures or types of touch that brought a sense of calm,
curiosity, or pleasure?
Step 3: Engage sensory
curiosity
You can rebuild pleasure pathways by awakening these channels gently.
Try exploring one sense at a time:
Smell: light a candle, smell flowers, essential oils, or food.
Taste: savour something slowly — chocolate, fruit, tea.
Sight: look at colours, art, nature, or candlelight.
Sound: listen to soothing or rhythmic music.
Movement: stretch, sway, or let your body move how it wants to.
Reflection:
Which senses felt easiest to connect with?
Did any sensations bring comfort, curiosity, or emotion?
Step 4: Add gentle selftouch
Only if and when you feel ready, invite gentle selftouch that feels nurturing, not sexualised.
This may involve placing a hand over your heart, your face, your belly, or simply
holding your own hands. If it feels comfortable, you might extend touch to areas of your body that have felt disconnected or neutral.
Remember:
You are always in control.
You can pause or stop at any time.
Focus on warmth, comfort, and presence.
If sexual touch naturally arises and feels safe, allow curiosity without expectation.
If it doesn’t, that’s perfectly okay.
Reflection:
What did your body communicate to you during this step?
Did any emotions, memories, or sensations arise that surprised you?